Not sure what to write….
Yesterday I logged on, I was going to post the blog “Was Michael Jackson a drug addict?” I could not. Truth is like everything else in Mike’s life there are two sides to that question. The short answer is ….at times…At times in Michael’s life, he was very very dependant on prescription drugs….and other times like the months leading up to “This is It” That he didn’t use…Doctor’s would write him prescriptions, for sleeping pills, anti anxiety medication, or Anti-Biotics… He would not finish the prescription. He was too much in the creative process to worry about his emotional pain, and he wanted to be clean….
With that answer, the next question people would want to know is “How do you know?” and that’s were the complication comes in. I do not want to claim anything. By doing so you have people that will evaluate everything said… I don’t want that. I was lucky enough to have had the opportunity to watch a genius for many years. I was lucky enough to have been born in the “time of Michael Joseph Jackson” To have known people who knew him, purely by chance, I was introduced, and was lucky enough to live in an area Michael visited fairly often during his life. I didn’t do anything special to earn it or my observations are probably no different than anyone else’s. Different people related to Michael in different ways… some loved him and some didn’t. I did.
The last time I saw Michael, in 2007, he came to my home state, to meet with his lawyer who at the time lived nearby, and too look at some real estate. I really wanted him to settle down here and raise his kids here, away from the spot light. However, Michael was wise enough to know the spot light would have followed him. I do think he would have found some peace. He also took the opportunity to visit with old friends.
When Michael “died” I cried… I cried for a very long time. I hurt, I kept thinking what could I have done to help him…… and the reality is … nothing, nothing I could have done would have changed anything. I was there if he needed me, but that usually just meant a long phone call in the middle of the night.
Since his death, I have read everything there is too read, visited every web site I could find, including those who support the idea of his death being a hoax, also some of those who laugh and ridicule those who believe Michael could still be with us. I think that after his death, I like everyone else wanted to believe this was a media hoax, or a cruel joke played on Michael, so that started the ball rolling, people started looking at everything…..including me. I have no magic bullet, I don’t know the answer, but I do KNOW something isn’t right!!!!!!!!
Mike was not using while preparing for this concert. He was looking forward to testing the waters to see if people were still interested in seeing him. I believe he feared the answer, although I don’t think he had anything to fear.
I do believe one thing…. If Mike is dead, He was murdered, and if he is alive, I don’t think he is coming back to the public eye….and if I did find out for sure he was alive, I would not tell a soul, because he has been through enough!!!
Although I have read everything I could find I have not said much, for two reasons. First to respect Michaels privacy, and second, I didn’t want to be known as someone who was claiming something that most people would not believe. I am a normal person who works a regular job, I am not a Hollywood type… People just would not understand my past. Therefore I will not give my identity. It has just come to a point that I don’t feel the people who knew Michael best are coming to his defense. There is so much Trash out there.
The truth is Michael was a good person, with thoughts and feelings just like everyone else. He could be a drama queen… and make him mad… He could hold a grudge longer than anyone I knew. He would talk about the smallest thing someone had done to him 20 years ago, and still be upset about it.
Everyone has put him up in an ivory tower, not believing he could have ever done anything wrong. Mike was not perfect. He had his flaws. You could not win an argument with him, because he would win at all cost, Even if he was wrong…. And he would never admit it.
He was fun and playful and full of life up until the trial, It change him. He became more subdued and a lot less trustful of people in his life.
In my last writing I started “connecting the dots” I tried to follow the money…The truth is I believe there is a connection between AEG, Sony, and Colony Capital, and like most of you who would be reading this I am still searching for answers. Answers that need to be documented someplace. I don’t believe Dr. Murray is the only guilty party, and yes even if Michael is alive, these fools are still guilty. I believe they are still behind what happened to Michael…..and others that surrounded Michael in the end that have turned up dead.
Through Michael and others, I have made friendships in the music business; I will continue to ask questions, even if I don’t get the answers. I will find out one way or the other…. I just have to know… to most of you he was the greatest performer that ever lived, a sex symbol, a giant in the industry… to me…. He was my friend of many years, we were not always close but we had our times….and I miss him
I saw MJ once on stage. Never met personally, would have loved to, but he would have shrugged me off because I would have said something to make him think. Why he's going to the extreme? Is it necessary? When enough is enough? Was it worth it? True love is not in the eyes of the beholder it's in your heart. To me, he read too history, and lost touch with himself and who God created him to be. He should have fought those charges in 1993!!!!!
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